Mental Illness

Mental illness, when you hear those words, what comes into your mind? Straight-jackets? Slack-jawed people starring off into space with drool dripping from their mouths? The stigma of mental illness is what keeps a lot of people who you pass by in the supermarket, in the mall and who you work with from getting the help they need. People have depression. People have bipolar disorder. People have substance abuse problems (and a lot of times the substance abuse problems have arisen from the fact that these people have been trying to self-medicate their mental illnesses).

We do not treat people with heart disease, diabetes or hemophilia as if they are somehow to blame for their illness, why do we do so with mental illness? It is an illness, physiologically based and treated with medication(s) which work(s) on the brain. It is the stigma of taking the pills, of seeing the doctor(s) and of sometimes having to go into the hospital (just as one would if they were truly sick with diabetic ketoacidosis or if they were having an myocardial infarction) that keeps some people from getting the help they so desperately need. No one would not go into a hospital if they were having a heart attack, yet a person in the middle of a manic episode who is also in the middle of a full blown grip of alcoholism where s/he cannot stop drinking refuses to get treatment because of the stigma. And of course, her/his "friends" all agree that there is nothing wrong. Well, if this person has lost her/his home, significant other, and now her/his job, me thinks its time to go into the hospital. But, hey, stigma is a strong thing and for some reason it does not seem to be disappearing.

How many more people of "respectability" have to come out and say that they too have mental illness and have sought treatment? Patrick Kennedy comes to mind as does Patty Duke. A quick look on the Internet shows me that there are many people throughout history documented to have had mental illness, and yet they contributed greatly to this country, to the arts and even to sports (please click here for more information).

I have long believed that people with "mental illness" are actually more gifted than those "normies" out there. Disclosure here: I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder for three years now, although I am sure I have had it since I was about 15. I also have an IQ that borders on the genius level. Once I was diagnosed correctly, my life really fell into place. I take my medication as directed, follow my doctors orders and my life is pretty normal, as "normal" goes that is. The problem is, I discovered long ago and research bears this out, most people who are diagnosed with a mental illness DO NOT take their medications as directed, DO NOT do as their doctor directs them to and there you have it. They remain "victims" of the illness, but "victims" by choice. No one is a victim who does not choose to be a victim.

I had been misdiagnosed for 15 years. Once I found out what my true diagnosis was, I was eager to try the proper medications. I did not want to do the group therapy my psychiatrist recommended, but he promised me that it would help. Although I really, really did not want to do the group therapy, I did go, and go, and go... for almost three years... and my psychiatrist was right. It did help. I took my medications as directed. That definitely helped. Another psychiatrist recently told a friend that he considers me "almost a colleague" in helping this friend. I think that speaks volumes in terms of my stability and control of my illness.

I hear families and friends of these people say, "But they are sick." Well, so was I. A person must decide for themselves that they do not like being "sick." I have talked to folks with mental illness. The ones who do not follow doctor's orders like being sick. That is the honest truth. On some level, the just like being the way they are. They are comfortable being the way they are. They do not know any other way and they do not want to even try, thus they do not. Honestly, I cannot understand it. As I stated earlier, this was not my attitude

Bottom line, a person is always more than just "a diabetic" or that "bipolar person." If you treat your diabetes, it ceases to be a problem. If you treat your bipolar disorder, it ceases to be a problem. It is only when you ignore these things that then they begin to define you and your life. Why would anyone choose that for themselves? I would love to understand, but I know I never will.

Borrowed Words

Every now and then, I person runs into something so well written, so well expressed that I simply cannot do better myself. Thus, with credit to "yjuana":

"I don't care about being hated. As an American , I demand to be respected! My responsibility is to remain true to the American Ideal. This is the problem with Bush, Cheney and the rest of those idiots- they have abandoned the pursuit of the Ameican Ideal in order to maintain a mythical status quo! They have sacrificed the cause of freedom for the cause of "standard of living". How dare they send those men and women into harms way so that Haliburton can fleece taxpayers. I don't care if the next President is a man, woman, black, gay, democrat, republican or alien- I just want to see a TRUE American lead us out of the mess that these idiots and a long line of idiots before them have led us into."

(Hypertext to Post #58)

I Wonder What Would Happen to this World....

Oh if a man tried
To take his time on Earth
And prove before he died
What one man's life could be worth
I wonder what would happen to this world

The above lines can be found in two places that I know of, the first and original place is from Harry Chapin's song, "I Wonder What Would Happen to this World" - it is the chorus. The second place you can find it is on Harry Chapin's grave as it is his epitaph.

Harry Chapin was and remains a hero to me. I was very young when I was exposed to his music and quite honestly, it wasn't until I was much older that I understood much of his music. What I did understand on a very deep level, even at age six, was that Harry really cared about his fans and that Harry really cared about hungry people.

I remember things very vividly. I was only six the first time I saw Harry Chapin in concert, so this has to be around 1973, and he was a great performer. I felt so safe among all these adults. Everyone was so happy and many songs were sing-a-longs. Even though many things were over my head, I didn't care. I remember him saying "If you brought your kids and thought this was going to be a family show, you were wrong!" and me being worried that my parents would make us all go home, but they were happy (and they were not happy often back then). I danced along with my whole family, we sang and I was so very happy. Afterward, we even waited and met Harry, getting kisses and autographs. Being so young, I thought this was the way all concerts were. I had no idea that this was just the way Harry was.

I also didn't know back then that Harry pretty much gave the proceeds from every other concert to charity. He believed in putting his money where his mouth was. He, along with his friend, Father Ayer, started an organization to try to help stop hunger, World Hunger Year (WHY), still in action today. Harry Chapin testified before Congress about the state of hunger and the urgent need for action. Some would say Harry Chapin never stopped, until the accident and heart attack forced him to stop forever that July night in 1981.

On December 7, 1986 Harry Chapin was posthumously awarded the Congressional Gold Medal on what would have been his 45th birthday. To see the coin, to read the text of the bill as well as read more amazing information about what can happen when one man tries to see what he can do with his life before he dies, please click here.

Another passionate, outgoing man was Steve Irwin. He also was someone who put his money where his mouth was. He purchased vast amounts of land in different parts of the country so that he would be able to save the land for the indigenous wildlife. Through his television program, "The Crocodile Hunter," Steve Irwin was able to educate millions of people, myself included, about the importance of wildlife conservation. We need to be careful not just to love the "cute" animals, but also be interested in the snakes, the crocodiles, the lizards and the turtles. It was Steve Irwin's exuberant passion, along with his wife Terri's equally evident love of all animals, that enlightened me and educated me to how much I did NOT know. Once I started learning about snakes and the like, I was fascinated.

It was reported today (read Yahoo/AP story here) that a new wildlife reserve in Australia will be named after Steve Irwin. That was the impetus for this posting.

These two people took their very short lives and managed to accomplish great things with them. They each had a passion and they followed that passion and they changed the world. Did the world change momentously, no. But it did change and it changed for the better. Here in Flordia we have Harry Chapin food banks for the hungry. Maybe soon we will have a Steve Irwin conservation project.

(and we all sing together...)

"If a man tried to use his time on Earth... to prove before he died... just what one man's life could be worth... well, I wonder what would happen to this world."

I've Got a Friend

More than one actually. Every now and again, I'm reminded of how lucky and blessed I am to have these people in my life that I call my friends. I've known most of these wonderful folks for around 20 years, but I'm truly blessed to have met some new friends and I am just as glad to have their friendship as well.

Friendship, I learned long ago, is to care enough to give your opinion only when asked, to realize your friendship is always a two way street; you love unconditionally and are loved back, you give unconditionally as you are able and you are treated the same. Mostly, you are just treated in a way that makes you know you are valued, you are treasured, and that you matter. Friends are cherished - such a beautiful thing.

I think those that do not understand this do not truly have friends. But hey, I've been poking around in the catnip today... it's a celebration day, so it's only the opinion of a Bad Kitty.

The Nature of the Enemy

If you do not believe as we believe, you are our enemy. You are all that is wrong with the world. We incite hatred and intolerance along the internet with our blogs. We want bad things to happen to your kind and take public glee when bad things happen to your ilk.

Am I talking about the Taliban, the "neocons" or the "looney left?"

Without tolerance and rational debate, do we not become the very thing we are fighting?

A person most certainly can be a patriot and still not label themselves a Republican or a Democrat. It's called being an Independent.

Let us never forget that this country was founded by a group of rebels, not a one a 'pub or a dem'. Nevertheless, had we lost the American Revolution, our beloved Founding Founders would be remembered as traitors to the Crown and we would be spelling color "colour."

We should always value our freedoms and our liberties as they were so hard fought for and won. During that first year of 1776 had it not been for the providence of good weather when the colonists needed it and bad weather when the Britons sorely did not need it, the American Revolution surely would not have survived that first year.

After more than 200 years, this wonderful lively experiment of self-governing has continued and every four years we have the potential for bloodless coup. No more revolutions have occurred and although we did endure a civil war, this nation still stands. I ask are we going to let ourselves be defeated by fear, ignorance, and our own very selves because like little children we refuse to get along?

How could we live with ourselves, destroying what so many have given their lives to protect and hold sancrosanct?

Civility, please, let us all give it a try. It is okay to disagree. It is not okay to be hateful, rude and mean.

What's Love Got To Do With It?

And more to the point, what IS love? I think it is somewhat the same to most people, but I could be wrong. When you truly love someone, you think about what is best for him/her as well as what benefits you both. If someone speaks ill of the one you love, you defend your love - you come to his or her rescue so to speak, and if that someone continues to speak ill of your love, you certainly do not remain friends with that person, no matter how long you have known them.

Imagine if you will, you meet the woman of your dreams. You fall in love! To your amazement, she falls just as hard for you as you do for her. You two are happy!!! There is a friend of yours who had intentions on you. In fact, many nights after many drinks you were "friendly" with her. You aren't proud, but this is reality and you have been lonely for a long time. How were you to know you would meet this other woman? To make it worse, this "friend" works with you! Every day that your relationship grows with the woman you love, this "friend" can't stand it. She hates your woman and makes no bones about it.

Alas, the sad story goes on... you and your love buy a house together. You are that much in love! Other friends object ... they too do not like your lady love. They all have their own vested interests in keeping you single, such as paying them rent under the table and being their dog watcher among other things. The woman you fell in love with is very good with your son and the three of you sometimes have such wonderful times together doing the simplest things, like just eating cheeseburgers from the grill on the deck of your new home. You finally have a family like you always wanted... but somehow, you feel miserable all the time.

At work, your "friend" keeps telling you how you made the biggest mistake in your life and now "no one will ever talk to you again." You stop getting group email from one of the guys you worked with. Your "friend" starts talking about your woman during lunch, so much so that you can't stand to be in the cafeteria anymore during the lunch break. One of your true friends tells you eventually that the "friend" is saying so much crap that he feels he has to let you know about it if you want to. You decide you cannot bear to know what is being said.

At this point, put yourself in the shoes of the woman who is the "loved" one.

The man who you thought loved you allows this woman to pollute his mind constantly. When he calls you from work, sometimes he has to hang up abruptly because she has entered his cube. Or she will be surreptitiously eavesdropping from another cube... because she has no respect for any one's privacy. She told him right before he left for our April vacation to Vegas "I'll break you guys up if its the last thing I do" - not "have a good vacation" and he still continued to think of her as a "friend." That is the part that I will never understand. What "friend" acts like that? None.

Thus, he cannot be the man for that lady who thought she was loved, for she was not. She was an interesting trifle for a ghost man.

Blow Jobs in the Work Parking Lot? Ewww

There is this woman who hates me. She has done a great deal of nasty and vile things to me. Her name is Sandra. I'm dying to post her last name, but I'm waiting until she really aggravates me, and then I will post her last name and the town she lives in, but for now, lets just call her Sandie the Slut from Rhode Island. It's a small enough state. When she worked for this company in Warwick, she had this practice of giving blow jobs on her lunch break. Her term for the sexual practice - "a smoothie." She is gross and disgusting. I dislike her and feel her behavior is entirely inappropriate. Any comments?

Ideas, I Get Ideas

Every job has it's downsides, it's quirks if you will. Mine is that I encounter so many doctors that eventually I run into some that one first blush I absolutely hate transcribing. Luckily, this phase doesn't usually last for most of the ones I dislike, but unfortunately, some of those I intensely dislike just never get better and I never adjust to them. It's an occupational hazard, I suppose, one that just cannot be avoided.

I wonder why there isn't a guideline for doctors for their dictations. Since there isn't I am going to make one. First off, doctors should always speak clearly. When a doctor is doing his/her first dictation, they should have a template in front of them showing them what type of information and the order in which that information gets dictated into the dictation system. If a doctor makes an error or changes his/her mind about the phrasing of something or a medication, s/he needs to be clear about what changes they are making, not simply pausing and resuming talking, leaving the transcriptionist to figure it out. Doctors should not talk at the speed of light. We understand that they need to be quick. However, speed at the cost of accuracy is not a fair trade. Clarity and reasonable speed along with relevant information in the proper order is the cornerstone of a good dictator (not in the fascist sense!)

Since we are talking about medical records, these are some of the most important records that are kept and there is no standardization. Imagine if every library you went to had a different system of keeping track of its books and describing its holdings. Given that fact, health care records should be somewhat standardized. For example, all follow up visits should have a certain template from which doctors should have - they can add and subtract from it as necessary to suit the patient that they are seeing. Believe me, after hearing literally hundreds and hundreds of doctors dictate from different specialties, to general practice, to initial intakes, this can be a standardized process. Doctors do fundamentally all say the same thing. They just like using different words in different orders from each other. Some of my favorite doctors in the past liked to many adjectives deeply describing anatomical abnormalities. Since for that job I got paid by the keystroke, I loved transcribing for that doctor!

Oh well, these are just the opinions on how to make some things a little better from a Bad Kitty.

Working from Home

You ever see those advertisements selling work at home packets, guaranteeing that you can live a life of leisure so long as you have a computer. Well, I don't know about all that, but you can certainly work from home and make a decent living. Actually, you can make a lot of money if you are disciplined and have a bit of knowledge - either in medical terminology or medical billing. I know this because I have been working from home for over seven years now.

There are pros and cons to working from home. Everyone thinks it is a paradise - the perfect situation. It's not. You really have to be disciplined. You must make yourself work for a certain number of hours or until a certain amount of work is complete. You must do this day after day. You do not interact with other co-workers. My interaction with co-workers has consisted primarily of e-mails and a few phone calls. I once went up for a training at one company I was doing work for and that was really great - seeing all those nice people. You do really miss people. Also, for some reason, some people have this notion that you don't have a "real job." Funny, because I get paid "real money." I had an aunt ask me just this past January if I had a "real job" yet. I'm the first in the family to get a Master's and I guess having my own business just isn't good enough for someone with my level of education to them. Sucks being them, because this suits me just fine.

Okay, now the pluses ... I've owned businesses since I was 23. Working at home is the best because you can do little things like take a break and throw in a load of laundry (which I just did!). I can work unshowered and in my pajamas, if I am so inclined. I pay no money to commute to work. I love the challenge of working faster and more efficiently because I get paid not by the hour, but by how much I produce.

Working from home just isn't for everyone. If you have children who aren't in school yet or daycare, this isn't going to work. If you aren't someone who can resist the temptations of your home to make yourself work consistently everyday, you're out too. But, I do think that working from home is definitely an option for a lot of educated people unsure of what to do for a career.

Independence Day

Just a quick note to remember those brave men and women back in 1776 who decided that being yoked to England was no longer a beneficial arrangement. The notion that people could govern themselves was a very new one and actually, the Founding Fathers had their own reservations about the actual "people" governing in totality, which is why we have the Electoral College, and why we are actually a Republic which happens to have a democracy. We are a very interesting experiment.

Notoriously, we swing back and forth between extremes of so-called liberalism and so-called conservatism. The United States will stay self-contained; no, the United States will try to police the world; and back and forth we go. We will be hard workers with solid ethics. No, we will rebel, tune in, tune out, drop out - change the world. On second thought, let's all make a lot of money. The tide is turning again, my blog reader. The yoke has been tightened just a little too tightly on our freedoms. The transparency of wealth and power buying of justice is too clear to ignore.

It is no longer a beneficial arrangement, President Bush. You might do well to remember the lessons of Independence Day and the arrogance of another man named George, King George III.

Disgust for the Bush Pardon of Libby

If you haven't heard/read by now, President George W. Bush eliminated the jail sentence portion for "Scooter" Libby for his role in obstructing justing during the investigation into the outing of CIA operative, Valerie Plame. What was done to Valerie Plame just because her husband, Joe Wilson, had gone public with his doubts about the statements the Bush administration had been making about Iraq, stating that facts had been "twisted" to make the case for war, was nothing more than revenge of the worst sort. There can be no doubt that the decision to leak her name came from Cheney or Rove. Another thing that always bothered me was that two journalists were jailed for refusing to name their sources on this story - yet neither one printed the story. The one who did the actual outing, Robert Novac, he was never questioned, never went to jail... I tell you this whole thing stinks to high heaven. Perhaps now the American people will start to see it as well.

The best coverage of the story is actually on a blog. It is here. It is short, but provides links to go deeper into the story - fantastic coverage!

For your basic news coverage - CNN's coverage is here.

Ruminations on my Hometown Newspaper and Technology

From the age of 13 when my family moved to Somerset, Massachusetts (pretty much the last of a quite a few moves in my adolescent life), I read the Providence Journal on a daily basis. I admit that I most likely have a strong bias towards this newspaper since it was my first newspaper, just like a first love, my inky fingers testament to that love just as any lipstick kiss would have been. You could tell if I had answered the phone in the morning in the summer if there was an ink stain on it. Many mornings, I had smudges on my face, especially in the summer before I began working. How I loved when that paper switched to using ink!


When I when off to college in Amherst, I tried other papers and none really satisfied me. Besides, I was busy all of the time and it seemed like the free flimsy Daily Collegian was okay enough to quality as "reading the paper" daily. I also lived in the Boston area for about five years and read the Boston Globe daily. I grew very used to it and even liked it. But it was no Providence Journal. They have some of the best columists - Mark Patinkin, Bob Kerr, M. Charles Bakst, Stanley Aronson, MD (he is the best columnist EVER - oh, I so love him - he is in Monday's OP/ED or used to be) and I know I am forgetting some of the others, sorry.


What provoked my little nostalgia for my hometown newspaper this afternoon is that I visited the online site to look for something related to my home town. I appreciate the effort they put in to the site. I just wish I could buy the real thing, because I would. Every day. Crazy sorta, isn't it? But I just want that little part of my life back. Where I could sit for 30 minutes and read the paper and turn my brain on. I really liked that and loved the way the writers at the ProJo helped me do that.

In so many ways as we advance technologically, we lose a little bit of our connections to our humanity. Do computers bring us closer together?



In the home I live in, there are three people living here. We have three televisions each with a TiVo and three people watching different rooms. Is this necessarily a good thing? I remember when people watched television together because they had to. Doesn't this also help people get along because they spend more time together socializing across generations as family units? Again, I'm not knocking technology, we just have to balance out what we do so that we don't lose too much of our collective/community selves to our individual/online selves.

The opinion of a Bad Kitty - take it or leave it.